Nebish, Dad, and High School fools

Chillin like a villian with the Nebish down town.

Lets do a very quick recap to be elaborated on at some time in the future.

Our friend Pat invited us to his bar. Now, I ask you, why would a friend invite his broke ass friends to come drink over priced drinks at his snooty hotel bar knowing full well there are bars a plenty with better atmosphere and cooler customers if not to comp his friends some drinks? This is not an unreasonable expectation in my mythos. Needless to say, Pat charged us for drinks then left us high and dry as we waited outside for him to finish his shift. He’s really a much nicer guy than all that though you wouldn’t know it from this scene.

Since the other day when John practically passed out in the heat I’ve been worried about his endurance. The few blocks to the trolley up to West Philly seemed to be a little too much for him. I could see the concentration on his face as we walked down the street. It was good when we finally got to Joe and Patty’s house and we could set him down in front of a fan. It was a good and mellow evening playing Wii sports all night and getting loaded.

The following day I got to see my dad. We had lunch together and chatted a bit. I realized that I actually don’t really like it when he goes off on his lectures. That was fine though, because he only did it once before I stopped him. I can understand though. It is nice to feel like you have something to say that actually matters. He has given me this one before where he reminds me that if you have a special someone there is nothing more important in the world than them. What he seems to foget when he is sharing this bit of wisdom with me is that

a) the woman he is talking about was my step mother.

b) I couldn’t stand the woman.

c) Perhaps most importantly, the sacrifices he is advocating one make for their significant other included my brother and I in his case.

Mental note to self – pay attention to your audience to make sure the science you are imparting to them is actually something they have an interest in.

Still it was cool. There were a couple aw shit moments, like when he told me for the first time that he took some chemistry as an undergrad. I had also stumbled upon chemistry when I first started going to school. At the time it seemed comletely out of the blue, but learning it was also a decision of my father’s freaked me out a bit. Our choices are not made as autonomously as we like to imagine they are.

I also found myself humbled as I asked him for money from school. It is not easy for me to ask for help and I hate having to be concerened about money. I know, how unusual, right? He was pretty cool about it all and definitely didn’t try to make me feel like an idiot, although he had just finished telling me how the stock market (where he has most of his money) was not doing very well.

Later that day I spent some time with some high school friends of mine. One of the core crew has fallen away from the rest of the posse for some very obscure reasons that seem to have to do with his wife not likeing white people (they are african-american). I pulled a Jerry Springer on him and invited him out to Gordon’s house so we could hang out for a drink (Gordon is the guy he has the biggest problem with) when he showed up we all acted as though there was nothing going on, but I could tell something was up. I think we did our best to pretend nothing had changed, but you really can’t go home again. After we went our separate ways I ruminated on how foolish we humans are and how short life is. Friends are so important.

Another important thing that I took away from the scene, though, was that there is nothing we have to do to make things better. It is not that there is nothing we can do to make things better, but that we don’t have to do anhything to make things better. I know I can’t fix things between my friends. But I do know that I can love them and support them and let them know that what they are doing to eachother is a waste of time. These are the only ideas that will ever make a difference. Not being in town there is certainly nothing I can do anyway. But that is irrelevant. People are always only going to do what they want to do. You can give them all the advice you want. You can put them in whatever situation you think is best for them. But when it comes down to it what we need to do for eachother is just to remind how much you mean and how essential you are to our lives.