I suppose it is a mortality thing or suchlike. I was thinking about all the people who I will never see again. Probably never see again anyway. I was thinking about the people out there who were ex-girlfriends or people who I considered to be friends and hung out years ago. People who I don't see. Don't know about. Haven't talked to in years.
And then one day, pretty soon in relative terms, I'll be gone. There'll be no more chances to share a beer or have a laugh. No more opportunities to kiss and touch and smile into each others eyes. Those moments are lost; the chances wont ever get to be made.
It seems somehow unfair. No, not somehow, it is unfair. I want those opportunities. I resent the chances being pinched off by time and decrepitude. To quote Roy Battie from Blade Runner "I want more life, fucker."
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11 years ago
2 comments:
Wow. I was just thinking that same exact thing the other night. I was sitting in my room thinking that I'm 41, and as all these moments, days, weeks, months pass by, I'm not doing enough to share my life with all of my favorite people in it. There's just never enough time.
I want more life too.
What if I die without seeing you again? Or Paradox? Or my kids? Or my sisters? Or Randall? Or Carly? Or Lisa?
I'm not willing to accept that as an option at all. Roy is so right, brother.
I think it is so odd.
I grew up thinking that this is the time that most people just kind of get into a patterned way of being, repeating their lives over and over again without really reflecting on who they are or what they are doing. But that seems like such a load of crap.
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